So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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