i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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