He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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