Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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