Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
