YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I would ride that face into the sunset
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
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