So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
These tits shall not be calmed
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
