Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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