Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
only you would photoshop your dick
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
