aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You made out with two different species that night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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