I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
