he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
