I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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