her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
