I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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