she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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