pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
