I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
