So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
