im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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