And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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