Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
