Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Randomize
