I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm jealous of your bromance
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
