Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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