Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize