found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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