hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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