You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
