Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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