i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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