I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
