its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
