oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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