No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
