good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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