Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Congratulations! We have a period
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
