I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
