I must be too annoying 4 u.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she looked like the before picture.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
