did you get engaged???
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
