Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
