What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
The ass gains better be worth it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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