i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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