My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I want is dick and wine.
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