Apparently you make a good broom.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
