Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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