i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
