He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
