i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
