C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
operation harelip BJ is a go
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
