Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
