I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
