Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
