I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
