Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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