Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
