Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i came on her dog
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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