Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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