lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
