I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
