I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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