I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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