It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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