i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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